Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.
Chandler(watches Joey for a moment) Ok! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that he's scratching his back with it.) Listen, I'm gonna be moving out so you, are gonna be in charge of paying the rent.
JoeyRight! And when is that due?
ChandlerFirst of the month.
JoeyThat's every month?
ChandlerNo, just the months you actually want to live here.
ChandlerOk, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Joey(looking at it) Oh my God!!
ChandlerThat's our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on you things, so why don't I just- I just cover you for a while?
JoeyNo-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity... anymore.
ChandlerIt's not charity, Joe...
JoeyI don't know! Forget it! Ok? I mean thanks, but I'm done taking money from you. All right, I can take care of myself. Now, what's next? Come on.
ChandlerOk uh, here's the electric bill. (Hands it to him.)
JoeyThis is how much we pay for electric?!
(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)
ChandlerSo, we'll do the rest of the bills later then?
Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.
PhoebeSo is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
ChandlerNo, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldn't take it.
PhoebeWell, how much do you think he needs?
ChandlerI figure $1,500 would cover him for a few months, you know? But I have to trick him into taking it so I don't hurt his pride.
PhoebeYeah. Why don't you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Just whatever you want.
ChandlerWell that would help the pride thing.
Monica(entering from her room) Hey!
ChandlerHey! Wow! You look great! Do you wanna move in with me tomorrow?
ChandlerOk! (They kiss) So, what do you girls have planned for tonight?
MonicaWell, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought we'd go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that, Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
PhoebeAnd also, my birthday.
MonicaIt's not your birthday.
PhoebeWhat a mean thing to say! I would never tell you it was not your birthday!
(Joey and Ross enter.)
PhoebeHey! So, you guys have anything planned for the big last night?
ChandlerWell, instead of just hanging out, we figure we do nothing.
RossWhoa-whoa-whoa, Knicks season opener tonight. I, thought maybe you guys would come over and watch it.
JoeyI don't know Ross, not if you're gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
RossI did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist!
Rachel(entering from her room) Pheebs, I was wondering...
MonicaYou're not dressed yet?! We're supposed to start having fun in 15 minutes!
RachelWell and clearly not a minute sooner.
MonicaRachel, you are packed though right, please tell me that you're packed.
RachelOf course I packed! Monica, relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe for her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
PhoebeMy God, I can't get a minute of peace around this.
[Cut to Rachel's bedroom, Phoebe and she are entering. And it's obvious that she's not packed.]
PhoebeOh my God! Monica's just gonna kill you.
RachelYeah, yeah, I know.
PhoebeWell, what you're wearing is fine for that.
Monica(entering) Rachel, I need to borrow- You're not packed! You're not packed even a little bit!
RachelNo, don't get mad 'cause look- this is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, "What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, tada!
Monica(grabs a bag of those Styrofoam peanuts) I'll be coordinator! Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I didn't get you anything! Ok, look, everybody has to help! Ok? Phoebe, you can help, can't you?
PhoebeI have plans.
MonicaYour plans were with us.
MonicaAll right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
MonicaOk! (To Rachel) My God, thank you!!
[Cut to living room, Phoebe enters and closes Rachel's door behind her.]
PhoebeHurry! Monica's gonna make you pack! She's got jobs for everyone! Now, it's too late for me, but save yourselves! (The guys scramble for the door.)
Monica(entering and interrupting the guy's escape attempt) Ok! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, we're gonna start with...
ChandlerOh nope, I-I have plans with Joey.
MonicaI thought you said you were gonna do nothing.
ChandlerYes, but for the last time.
MonicaOk fine, now, Ross...
RossOh, but-but I can't do it.
JoeyDon't you have Ben?
RossBecause, because I have Ben.
MonicaIt's almost 8 o'clock, it's almost past his bedtime. Where-where is he?
ChandlerHe's at a dinner party.
MonicaIs he really coming? Because I can see into your apartment!
RossOf course he is! Eh, what, you think I'd just use my son as-as an excuse? What kind of father do you think I am?
MonicaAll right, sorry. (Goes back to Rachel's room.)
Ross(to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Chandler and Joey's, Joey is entering carrying two pizzas.
JoeyHere it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates.
ChandlerOh, I wish I'd know you were gonna do that, I ordered Chinese.
JoeyOh. Oh that's ok. Hey, actually, in a way it's kinda nice. You know, our last dinner together, me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
(Chandler stares at him, dumbfounded, then finally agrees.)
ChandlerSay, Joe, I had a strange idea of what we could do for our last night. What do you say we play a little uh, foosball for money?
JoeyAre you crazy? You haven't beaten me once since my injury plagued '97 season. It would be easier if you just give me your money.
ChandlerYes it would. What do you say to $50?
JoeyI say to it: "$50, you are more than I have."
ChandlerIf you know that you are gonna win though, what difference does it make?
JoeyOk, you're on.
ChandlerOk, let's play! The big game, Italy vs. China, apparently.
(They start playing.)
Rachel's bedroom, she's in her closet bringing down her pair of rollerblades from a top shelf.
RachelOhhh, look, it's the rollerblades.
Monica(starting to cry) Oh God!
RachelYou remember when we got these?
RachelUh I guess you weren't there. (They hug.)
PhoebeYou guys, we said we were gonna have fun! Come on, hey, remember the time... (She starts laughing hysterically.) You don't remember?
RachelI'm sorry Pheebs, I guess I'm just really sad that I'm leaving.
MonicaI'm gonna miss you so much.
PhoebeWell, this doesn't have to be so sad though. You know? Maybe instead of just thinking about how much you're gonna miss each other, you should like think about some other things you're not gonna miss.
MonicaI don't think there's anything.
PhoebeCome on, there's gotta be something.
MonicaNo, she's perfect.
RachelOhh. (pauses) I have one.
PhoebeGood! Great! You can go first.
RachelUh well, I guess I'm not gonna miss the fact, that you're never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
PhoebeGood, that's a good one. Ok, Monica, anything? You know? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
MonicaAw, sometimes. Always, actually.
PhoebeOk, good. There you go. Doesn't anyone feel better?
MonicaNot just the phone pen. I never get my messages.
RachelYou get your messages!
MonicaYeah, well I don't think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
RachelSo, so, you missed a message from who? Chandler or your mom? Or Chandler? Or your mom?
PhoebeGreat! It worked! No one's sad.
Chandler and Joey's, they are just finishing up another game of foosball.
Joey(scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! That's like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500, that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, there's nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
ChandlerOk, give me a chance to win my money back. Ok? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
JoeyOk, get ready to owe me!
JoeyOk, here we go. Ready?
[In slow motion, as some haunty demonic music plays in the background, Joey throws the ball in, Chandler quits playing and goes for his Chinese food. Joey smacks the ball really hard, shooting it down the table. Chandler slowly takes a bite, the ball bounces off of the wall, heads back up the table, and scores the goal for Chandler.]
ChandlerNo! No! No! No- (Joey looks at him) - one can beat me.
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
ChandlerSee? Now, that's why only the little fake men are supposed to do the kicking.
Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel and Phoebe move a box into the living room.
MonicaHello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!
RachelOoh, your brother. Score!
Monica(on phone) What's up?
RossOh, I'm just over here with Ben. I thought we'd say hi.
MonicaOh, put him on!
RossBen, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesn't feel like talking right now. Uh He's smiling though! Ok, talk to you later. (hangs up the phone and sits down to turn on the game. He looks over at his fake son.) You know, Daddy was gonna be a basketball player.
Rachel's bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.
PhoebeYeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the rollerblades? Oh.
RachelYou know what else I'm not gonna miss? "I'm Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"
Monica"Hi I'm Rachel, is my sweater too tight? No? Oh, I'd better wash it and shrink it!"
Rachel"I'm Monica, I don't get phone messages from interesting people. Ever!"
PhoebeHey! I call her!
Monica"Oh my God, I love Ross! I hate Ross! I love Ross! I hate Ross!"
Rachel"Oh my God, I can't find a boyfriend! So I guess I'll just stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there!"
PhoebeYou guys, come on, this is the last night!
RachelYeah, you're right-you're right, (to Monica) and so, for the last time I would like to ask you: Boo hoo! Get out of my room!
(Monica picks up one of those boxes of hair curling things, dumps it in a box, and storms out.)
PhoebeYeah, we should get a move on if we wanna make those dinner reservations. (Phoebe dumps a drawer full of makeup into a box.)
Chandler and Joey's, Joey is examining the broken foosball table as Chandler enters from his room.
JoeyThis sucks man! Your last night here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
ChandlerWell, you know, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? (Holds up a deck of cards.)
JoeyNah, not my game.
ChandlerOk, uh, how about, how about - you know what? We could play a new game. A new game, it's fun.
JoeyWell, what's it called?
Chandler(Spots a cup) Cups.
JoeyI don't know how to play Cups.
ChandlerI'll teach you. Come on, come on, it's really easy, really, really fun.
ChandlerOk, here you go. (He deals out two cards each.) I have two queens, what do you have?
JoeyA two and a five.
ChandlerHo-ho, you win! 50 dollars!
ChandlerOh yeah! Ok, let's play again. Ready? (He deals out two cards each again.) What you got?
JoeyA four and a nine.
ChandlerYou're kidding right?
ChandlerWell that's a full cup! (Pays him again.)
JoeyDamn! I am good at Cups!
Monica and Rachel's, Monica is whining to Phoebe about Rachel.
MonicaI'm not talking to her!
PhoebeWell, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because she's the one who's leaving. It's harder for her!
MonicaMaybe you're right- She made fun of my phone pen!
PhoebeI know, I took it hard too. She's in there right now, crying. I can hear her.
Monica(goes up to the door to listen) She's not crying.
PhoebeShe's holding it in. She's so brave. Go.
(Monica goes into Rachel's room.)
MonicaListen, Rachel, I feel really bad about what happened- What are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
RachelI'm not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
MonicaIt needs to go about 20 blocks to the left!
RachelHey, you know what? You're the one who wants to make this big change and move in with Chandler! You should be the one to go! Why do I have to leave?!
MonicaBecause it's my apartment!
RachelWell it's mine too! What else you got?!
MonicaHow about, you're moving! (Grabs a bunch of clothes and throws them into a box. What follows is a brief sequence of Rachel unpacking and Monica packing the same stuff over and over again as Rachel chants "No." and Monica chants "Yes.")
RachelOk Monica! Look! This is ridiculous. We should be packing you!! (She knocks over Monica, grabs a box, and runs into the kitchen.)
PhoebeHey, how are you guys doing?
RachelGreat! Monica's moving!
Monica(entering) I am not!
RachelOh really?! Then how come all your stuff is in this box?! (Monica starts chasing Rachel around the table.)
PhoebeOk, you guys. You guys I think I know what's going on here. Ok, you guys... STOP! (They stop.) I know that, I know that you're acting mad because you think that it'll make it easier to leave. But deep down you're still really sad. Deep-deep down.
MonicaNo Phoebe I am mad!
PhoebeWell, deep-deep-deep down!
RachelYeah, I'm just mad!
PhoebeThen keep running. (They resume the chase.)
Chandler and Joey's, they're still playing Cups.
JoeyWell, what did you have?
ChandlerWell it doesn't matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Ok, now how much you've won so far?
JoeyUh, (counts the money) wow, 700.
ChandlerNot 700 exactly?
ChandlerDouble it! (He does.)
ChandlerYes, in Cups, once you get $700, you have to double it.
ChandlerHey, I didn't make up the rules. Ok, so now after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100, which brings your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Oh no no, don't get too excited because that's not gonna happen unless you get- No way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card would've won. Chandler pays him.)
Monica and Rachel's, Monica carries a box out of Rachel's room.
MonicaWell, this is the last box of your clothes. I'm just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
RachelHuh. So funny, 'cause I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
PhoebeOk, you guys, I don't mean to make things worse, but umm, I don't wanna live with Rachel anymore.
Monica and RachelWhat?!
PhoebeYou're just so mean to each other! And I don't wanna end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
RachelWell, Phoebe that's fine, because I'm not moving.
MonicaWhoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! You know I-I know I said some really bad stuff about her, but you know Rachel does have some good qualities that-that make her a good roommate.
RachelOh really? Like what Monica?
MonicaYou know she has 147,000 pairs of boots...
RachelOh yeah, good start Mon.
MonicaShe lets you borrow them.
RachelYeah and you stretch them out with your big old clown feet.
MonicaDo you wanna live outside?! Because that's getting cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs, and umm, she'll fold on the pages of the things she thinks that I'd like.
MonicaWhen I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
RachelYeah, I do. I-I do, do that.
PhoebeThat's nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
MonicaWhen I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
RachelWell, you know what, I don't want you to be cold.
MonicaAnd, when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy! (They both break down in tears.)
RachelOh, it's gonna be fine.
PhoebeOk Rachel, now I can't wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! We'll have so much fun!!
RachelBut honey, I think she's moving in with Chandler.
PhoebeOh that's right. You're still set on that?
MonicaKinda. What? (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
[Cut to Ross's apartment, he's watching TV and eating some popcorn as the phone rings.]
Ross(answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Mon, how's the packing going? (Listens) Ben? He's fine. Yeah, he's right- Oh my God! (He looks over at the fake Ben and notices that the head has fallen off.) Get your head outta your shirt there son! (He tries to push the pumpkin through the neck hole.) What? (Listens) Yeah, it's a pumpkin. I'll come pack.
Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, that's the last time I'm ever gonna type that line. It's just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.
JoeyRoss and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
ChandlerWh- How did you lose at Cups?!
JoeyThe same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bam! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Even Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sitting Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didn't even get half a cup! Nothing!
JoeyAnd he never played before either! You know what I think? I think beginner's luck, very important in Cups.
ChandlerAll right, let's just play one more hand! Just one more hand!
JoeyNo, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! I'm serious this time! In-in fact, look, there's a- I wanna give you something ok? And let me give it too you now before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kind of, you know, like a thank you for being such a great roommate.
ChandlerI can't take the big white dog! You love it!
JoeyIt's him, not it!
ChandlerNo, what if I bought it from you, you know? And then your-your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
JoeyWait a second, I see what you're trying to do here! You-you're trying to give me money again!
ChandlerWhen did I try to give you money?
Joey(Points to the couch) Before, over there, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Ok? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
ChandlerI'm just trying to help you out! Ok? I wanna make sure that you're ok.
JoeyI will be ok! Look, Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I can't take care of myself. Ok? Look, I'm not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that I'm gonna miss... is you. And now the dog.
Monica and Rachel's, (And that's the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joey's or Monica and Rachel's, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachel's. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.
MonicaHey. Call me when you get there. Ok?
MonicaI'm really gonna miss you.
RachelOh! I have your key. Here you go. (Hands it to Monica.)
RachelOh, God! This is silly, I'm gonna see you in a couple of hours! (They hug again.)
(They break the embrace.)
(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachel's old and now empty room.)
MonicaShe really left.
ChandlerI know. (He kisses her.)
ChandlerNo problem, roomie. (She turns around and hugs him.)
MonicaCan I ask you a question?
MonicaWhat the hell is that dog doing here?! (She notices the dog sitting in the living room.)
(And with that, an era ends as Chandler moves in with Monica as Rachel moves in with Phoebe. It's a sad and happy time for Friends.)
Ross's apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joey's money back from Ross.
ChandlerI invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
RossAnd now you want that money back.
RossChandler, what kind of an idiot do you take me for? (As he picks up the fake Ben.)
ChandlerIt's not a real game! I made it up!
RossI'm sorry you lost your money, but I won it fair and square.
ChandlerAt a fake game!!
RossNow, if you wanna try to make some of it back, I'd be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
ChandlerOk! Now I assume the Saucer card came up when you played last.
ChandlerHmm, let's see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Written by Scott Silveri; Transcribed by Eric Aasen; Directed by David Schwimmer; Added footage text by Matthew G; Annotated by ncp