Previously on The Big Bang Theory.
LeonardThis is just a minor setback.
PennyNo, it's not, okay? I've been out here for, like, ten years. I've nothing to show for it.
LeonardWell, you have me.
PennyI do have you. Leonard Hofstadter, will you marry me?
PennyDid you seriously just say um?
And now... the stairwell.
SheldonIt's an outrage.
SheldonThe university, they think they can do whatever they want. We just have to sit there and take it.
LeonardYou need to let it go, Sheldon.
SheldonYou work tirelessly for someone, and this is what you get.
LeonardOh, my God, they're just making you use your vacation days.
SheldonBut I don't want a vacation.
LeonardOkay, listen, I don't mean to diminish what you're going through, but I'm a little distracted right now.
SheldonOh, this again? So, Penny proposed, you didn't say yes, and now you think you may have lost her love forever. How does this compare to me being forced to relax for a few days?
LeonardI'm gonna go talk to Penny.
SheldonI'm going to go inside, put on my coziest pajamas, curl up with a good book and wait for this nightmare to be over. (Leonard knocks on Penny's door) Penny. Sorry.
PennyLook, I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I just needed some time to think.
PennyYeah. Come in.
LeonardLook, if you wanna break up, just say it.
LeonardNo, no, no, no. I take it back. Don't say it. Just, just hate me, but stay with me. It worked for my parents.
PennyListen, I don't wanna break up with you.
LeonardOh. Oh, okay. Good, good. So, it's cool if I cry a little?
PennyYeah, I probably wouldn't.
PennyLook, you did the right thing last night. I was a mess. I was just frustrated because my career is going nowhere.
LeonardLook, I get it, and I want you to know that I support whatever you want to do.
PennyGreat, because I've been thinking, if I really want this acting thing to work, I need to focus all my energy on it. And to do that, I should quit waitressing at The Cheesecake Factory.
LeonardWow. That, that's a big step.
LeonardSo, well, before making any rash-
PennyI already quit.
LeonardAnd I support you.
SheldonCome on, take me to work with you.
LeonardNo. You're on vacation.
SheldonPlease. What if there's a big breakthrough in science today and I'm not there to see it?
LeonardDo you really think there's gonna be a breakthrough without you there to do it?
SheldonNo. I was just tricking you.
SheldonLeonard, wait. Take me with you.
SheldonToo bad. I'm coming with you.
LeonardOh, Sheldon, stay.
LeonardI said stay. I'm going to work. Do not follow me. (Sheldon whines like a dog)
The comic book store.
BernadetteSorry. Did I startle you?
StuartYes, but at this point, pretty much any customer does. What can I do for you?
BernadetteWell, I need a little help. I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's comic books this morning, and was hoping I could replace it.
StuartWow. What happened?
BernadetteBatman got his ass kicked by my curling iron.
StuartWell, don't let The Riddler know that. It's a comic book joke. Or maybe it's not.
BernadetteDo you have this one?
StuartUh, well, it's, it's pretty rare. Can you give me a few days to track it down?
BernadetteOoh, I was kind of hoping to get it before Howie comes home from work.
StuartOh. What's the hurry?
BernadetteWell, he's always saying I should be more careful with my curling iron, and it seems like a dangerous precedent to let him think he can be right.
StuartWell, I'll do what I can, but I can't make any promises.
BernadetteYou know, I do work at a pharmaceutical company. If you can make this happen today, I can hook you up with anxiety medication, antidepressants.
StuartReally? Do you have any of these?
AmyHello, Mr. Rat Brain. Not so bitey without the rest of the rat to back us up now, are we?
AmyHey, what brings you guys here?
RajWell, we were just on our way to lunch and wanted to see if you'd like to join.
AmyWhy? Because Sheldon's not here this week, and you don't think I have any other options? I'm just kidding. I'll get my purse.
BertHi, Amy. I, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had any company.
AmyThat's okay. Uh, Bert, this is Howard and Rajesh. Guys, this is Bert.
RajHey. Good to see you.
BertAnyway, I wanted to show you this tourmalinated quartz that we got in the lab.
AmyThis is so pretty. Bert works for the geology department.
BertYeah. You know what, uh, geologists and Bon Jovi have in common?
HowardYou're both into rock?
BertYeah. Well, see ya.
AmyOh, you forgot your quartz.
BertOh, it's okay. I want you to have it. Bye.
HowardYeah, he's nice because he likes you.
AmyWhat?! No, he doesn't.
RajHe brought you a pretty rock.
AmySo? He does that every day. Oh.
HowardYou know, if you'd rather skip lunch and hang out with your boyfriend Bert, it's totally okay.
AmyHe's not my boyfriend.
RajAre you sure? He's tall, pale and awkward. That sounds like your type.
AmyShould someone as lonely as you really be making fun of me?
RajYeah, grow up, Howard. God.
AmyWhat do I do? I don't wanna hurt his feelings.
HowardMaybe the problem is he thinks you're available. Does he know you're dating Sheldon?
AmyI guess it hasn't come up.
HowardThere you go.
RajAnd does Sheldon know you're dating Sheldon?
AmyI'm sorry. Who are you dating?
RajYeah, knock it off, Howard.
PennyOh. Hey, Sheldon.
SheldonI'm on vacation. What do you think?
PennyWhy are you sitting in the stairwell?
SheldonLeonard told me to stay.
PennyOh. Well, good boy.
SheldonWhere are you going?
PennyOh, I have a ton of errands to run. I need to make copies of my headshot, send them off to agents and sign up for a new acting class.
SheldonWell, have fun.
PennyOkay. (Sheldon whines) You wanna come with me?
PennyCome on, boy. Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Get in the car. Come on.
The comic book store.
Stuart(On phone) All right, thanks a lot. (To Bernadette) They have one at Capital Comics.
BernadetteOh, that's great.
StuartNo, it's not. I hate that place. Guy who owns it is a jerk. He's always making me feel bad about myself.
BernadetteOh, that's terrible. What's the address?
StuartYou know, why don't I just take you there? That way, I can make sure he doesn't rip you off.
BernadetteOh, thanks, but I don't want you to close up. I mean, won't you lose business? (Looks around the empty shop) Sorry. That was mean.
AmyPenny really quit The Cheesecake Factory?
HowardSo, what is she doing today?
LeonardI don't know. She already thinks I don't support this, so if I call, it might look like I'm checking up on her.
RajWell, do you support this?
LeonardOf course I do. She's a great actress. I'm proud she's taking this risk.
LeonardYou bought that? Great. I gotta call her before I forget how I said it. Hey.
PennyHi. What's up?
LeonardOh, how's it going? You taking Hollywood by storm?
PennyActually, I'm at The Cheesecake Factory.
LeonardYou got your job back. That is great news. I didn't wanna say anything, but you are making the right choice. To plunge yourself into debt right now would be literally insane.
PennyYeah. I'm just returning my uniform.
LeonardAnd I support you.
VoiceBefore we begin your guided meditation, close your eyes and picture yourself in a peaceful environment.
SheldonOkay. I'm inside the CERN super collider.
VoiceNow, take a deep, relaxing breath in through your nose. And let it out.
SheldonWow. Didn't see that coming.
SheldonLet me guess.
SheldonWhat was I gonna do? Two ins in a row? (Penny comes back) Where's my lemonade?
PennyI didn't get it.
SheldonA fitting swan song to your career as a waitress, to forget my order one last time.
PennyDo you think quitting my job was a mistake?
SheldonDo you see me drinking lemonade?
SheldonWhy do you ask?
PennyBecause Leonard just pissed me off. Am I being an idiot or not?
SheldonNo, I don't think you are.
SheldonThe best way to achieve a goal is to devote 100% of your time and energy to it. When I decided I was going to be a physicist, I didn't take some other job in case it didn't work out. Which wasn't easy because there was a lot of pressure from Ms. Pearson for me to be chalk monitor that year.
PennyThank you. I needed to hear that. Why can't Leonard understand it?
SheldonBecause he's not like us, Penny. We're dreamers.
PennyYeah, I need to start cracking the window when I leave you in the car.
BertSo, anyway, there's this big, uh, rock and mineral show next week in Santa Monica.
AmyListen, um, Bert, before you say anything else, I, I have a boyfriend.
BertOh. This is awkward. You thought I was gonna ask you to go with me to the mineral show.
AmyThat's very nice of you, but I do have a boyfriend.
BertThat's what you all say. You just don't wanna go out with me because I have an off-putting personality.
AmyNo, that's not true. My boyfriend has an off-putting personality, too. Like, way worse than you.
BertDon't worry. I'm used to it. I mean, I'm big and weird and funny-looking and no one ever wants to do anything with me.
AmyDon't say that.
BertIt's okay. I know I'm a monster.
AmyNo, Bert, come on. I'd love to go to the mineral show with you.
BertSweet. It's a date.
AmyNo, it's not.
StuartYeah. Haven't seen this many people in my store since that Korean church bus crashed through my front window.
JesseHaven't seen you in forever. Look how grey you've gotten.
StuartMy hair's exactly the same color as always.
JesseNo, I was talking about your skin.
StuartLook, uh, my friend here needs a comic book.
JesseOoh, and she went into your store by mistake. Good thing there was no one there to see you. What do you need? Oh, yeah, yeah. I got this. Right over here.
StuartEven you, Sweatpants?
JesseCan I offer you a coffee? Espresso? Latte?
JesseHow about you, Stu? Mocha? Scone? Directions to the nearest soup kitchen?
JesseI'm just kidding. He knows where the soup kitchen is.
StuartIt's on Merton Avenue.
BernadetteI don't think I like the way you're treating my friend.
JesseSorry. You want the book or not?
BernadetteNot from you. Let's go, Stuart.
StuartYou know something, Jesse? You may have a successful business and the kind of pink complexion that comes with good nutrition, but I have something more important.
StuartFriendship. Which I would trade in a heartbeat for all of this.
HowardThe mineral and rock show? That would be awful even without Bert.
AmySo what am I supposed to do now?
RajPrepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring?
AmyThis isn't funny. I'm gonna have to tell him the truth, that even if I didn't have a boyfriend, I wouldn't be interested in him.
HowardOh, I've heard those words so many times. From Linda Nosenchuck, Tammy Rosenworcel.
RajPadma Kapur, Neha Chowdury.
HowardMarci Grossman, Lisa Mazzarino.
RajOh, who was that girl from our Starbucks?
RajYes. Arlene. She wrote no way on both our cappuccinos.
HowardPoor Bert. That guy's got a rough afternoon ahead of him.
AmyWell, how would you want a girl to tell you she wasn't interested?
RajI guess, uh, I'd like her to sit me down, look me in the eye and say, I was wrong. I love you. And then maybe she could touch me in a special way.
HowardThat's how you reject a guy.
AmyOkay, I don't have time for this. I'm just gonna go find him and be brutally honest.
RajHe'll be so upset. He'll probably climb up the Empire State Building and start swatting at planes.
HowardYou want us to talk to him?
AmyReally? You would do that?
RajSure. We've both been in his shoes. We'll let him down with compassion and respect.
RajSo we tell him she's a lesbian.
HowardOf course we tell him she's a lesbian.
The apartment. Penny and Sheldon are doing yoga.
PennyAnd hold three, two, one. Very good. Now let's try Warrior 2. And hold.
SheldonI've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies they can draw water in through their genitals.
PennyYeah, well, I don't think we're gonna get to do that today.
SheldonToo bad. It seems like a good way to drink a milk shake without getting brain freeze.
PennyAnd now we go to Reverse Warrior.
LeonardHow did she get you to do yoga?
SheldonWell, to be honest, I thought she said Yoda.
PennyI'm helping him relax because, unlike you, he supports me.
LeonardOh, how many times do I have to say it? I support you.
PennySheldon, take a break.
PennyOkay, if you support me, what was with that phone call?
LeonardFine. I'm not sure you should've quit. But if you care so much what I think, why didn't you ask me before you did it?
PennyOh, so now I need your permission? Would you have asked me before you quit your job?
LeonardYes. I thought we were in the kind of relationship where we make decisions together. If I'm wrong, then maybe we need to talk about the kind of relationship we're actually in.
PennyYeah, well, maybe we do.
SheldonI'm willing to if you guys are.
LeonardCan we please have some privacy?
SheldonYe... No. I'm as much a part of this relationship as you two, and I think it's high time we put all our cards on the table. For example, where is this going? Are you two ever getting married? And, if so, where will we all live? Have you thought about that?
PennyOkay, wait. What are we doing?
LeonardFor some reason, we're planning a future where we both live with Sheldon forever.
SheldonGood. Now we're getting somewhere.
PennyLook, I know you think I'm being reckless, and you might be right, but I need to take this shot.
SheldonYeah, no kidding. Despite what it says on her résumé, she is no longer 22.
LeonardI swear, I am on your side.
PennyYou keep saying you're on my side, but you don't act like it.
SheldonHe does that to me, too. Why do we put up with it?
LeonardListen, I could never do what you're doing, okay? I would be terrified.
PennyWell, it's scary for me, too.
SheldonI'm fine with it.
LeonardMy point is, just because I couldn't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't. And I'm proud of you.
PennyOkay. Thank you.
SheldonWell, to celebrate this reconciliation, let's all share a milk shake. Uh, Penny, you'll need a straw.
BernadetteYes, I am, there's a few more things I wanna say to you. Stuart's store is just fine, and he's a much nicer person than you are, and if you still have that comic, I'd like to buy it right now.
JesseNo problem. Oh, you want a latte while you wait?
BernadetteNo, I don't want a latte. I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone.
JesseI only have chocolate chip.
BernadetteWell, that sounds even better.
BertThanks for coming to the mineral and rock show with me.
RajWe're sorry Amy didn't wanna go.
HowardReally, really sorry.
BertEh. Who needs her when I have you guys? Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock show! Rock sho-o-o-o-o-ow!